Going on a Trip?

Nope. Just heading off to school:







Lunches
Violins
Hats
Gloves
Snowpants
Fleeces
Neckwarmers
Homework
Skis
Ski Poles
Ski Boots
Ski Snack
Ski Cocoa Money

I finished work around 2:00 and headed over to the ski hill to join the girls. It was about the best skiing I've ever seen. They were so thrilled that I joined them as I usually work on ski afternoons. Lou waved away her friends and rode up with me every time. At one point, as we were riding up, she gave me this treat:

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods an frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

It's not often that you have Robert Frost recited to you while heading up a ski lift on a beautiful wintery day! It was just one of those perfect afternoons on the slopes with my girls.

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Wordless Wednesday

almost wordless...8 more inches of snow last night. At least we had a 1/2 day of school!

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Between Belgium and Vermont

Sometime over the holidays Ilse and I got the idea to do a book swap. We thought it would be fun for our children to see a book in a different language and I thought it would be fun to see the art in a European picture book.

So just before February, the girls and I chose our books and put together the package. Of course we had to add goodies from Vermont in addition to the books and of course we had to make it look beautiful. So, it was a fun "wintry mix" activity and off it went. You can see it over at Ilse's blog. It was fun for the girls to see the things we made in the hands of kids in Belgium.

Yesterday, we finally managed to pick up our package. I won't go into the grisly details of getting mail in our town. Suffice it to say that it isn't easy to get packages in a timely fashion.


I was just like Ilse in that I had to open it before the girls got home from school. I peeked, then closed it all up for them. We were delighted to find two beautiful books--one to add to our Christmas collection and another gorgeous book about going to the moon. The girls were able to get the gist of the stories and are excited to go read them with a friend of ours who speaks Dutch.

We were also excited to find Belgium chocolate, some honey bread, and some vanilla sugar which we want to try with Dutch pancakes. N was a little upset to come home and find all the chocolate gone :)

This sweet little gnome was also in the package and is about to go on Lou's backpack!

I am guessing that this weekend two families, one in Vermont and one in Belgium, will be eating pancakes--some with Vanilla Sugar and some with Maple syrup.

Thank you Ilse for a delightful treat at a time of year when there aren't a lot of treats!

p.s. for those of you who are just visiting her blog, Ilse has a translator widget in her sidebar as do I.

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Monuments and Memorials

We spent Saturday visiting several memorials. We began at the Lincoln Memorial and moved up the mall through the Vietnam and World War II Memorials and then up to the top of the Washington Memorial.






We finished our morning by visiting the Library of Congress. We got to gaze down at the spectacular reading room and see the Gutenberg Bible. The girls were real troopers with all the walking.







Lunch was at another great monument (in H's eyes anyway) to Rock and Roll. I can't say much more than that about it except maybe to acknowledge that we are now traveling with a pre-teen :)





It turned out that the Hard Rock Cafe is located next to Ford's Theater--where Abraham Lincoln was assassinated. Unfortunately the theater was closed, but we turned around and there was the house where he was taken after he was shot. So, we went on in and learned a bit more about those historic events.



We ended our day back at the Embassy Suites where we enjoyed the pool, hot tub, and the TWO-HOUR "Manager's Reception" which is an open bar with snacks and big-screen movie for the kids. Gotta love it.

We arrived home today to only 3 more inches of snow in our driveway, lots of dirty laundry, and wonderful memories. I even got some work done :)

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A Day of Art

Yesterday, while I was meeting with folks at the National Archives, N and the girls explored the National Gallery. It was fun to see works of art that we've seen in books. Both girls actually liked the modern art the best. I got there in time to see a beautiful exhibit of late nineteenth-century paintings. We sat for a long time in the Gallery Cafe relaxing and people watching.

We then went to the National Building Museum which had an exhibit of David Macaulay's sketchbooks. There were sketching stations throughout the exhibit so the girls tried their hand at a perspective drawing. It was fun because we've actually had dinner with David Macaulay and have recently spent a lot of time with his book and video about Rome. While the exhibit was fun, we were pretty disappointed with the National Building Museum. There were very limited exhibits. Lou said "I wanted to learn how to build an igloo or something!" She had been particularly excited about visiting because they are now in their "How People Live" block at school where they study different homes from around the world.

We finished our day at National Geographic's Explorer's Hall where we saw an exhibit about frogs. We trudged back to our hotel to meet our friends for swimming and dinner. PHEW!

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A Day of Pondering

We spent most of yesterday at Mount Vernon. We all learned so much. Mount Vernon has evolved as a museum from just a monument to George Washington to an entire plantation. We were able to see how a plantation worked, meet a "slave" in her slave cabin, and learn about tobacco and the early economy.

We spent quite a bit of time at George Washington's tomb and the slave memorial. There were two interpreters at Washington's tomb with tubs of red carnations for people to place. The slave cemetery now has a new memorial stone just a few feet away, but there was nobody there and only 1 person had taken a flower from Washington's tomb to the unmarked graves of the slaves.

While Lou peppered me with questions about slavery, H just stopped and pondered. I want to somehow help her write about it.


Later, H and I went to Evensong at the cathedral. There were just a few of us attending, so we got to sit up in the choir area by the high altar. As we listened to the choir sing Mary's Song, we watched the great rose window fade into the night. It was both intimate and inspiring. H continued her day of soaking in big ideas and emotions. I'm so glad we took the time to go.

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Guess where we are...

We are in Washington, DC. I've been at the National Archives gathering primary sources for some classes I'm teaching. The kids have been hanging out with friends at the museums.

Tomorrow we all go to Mount Vernon, home of George Washington, after which I'm taking H to Evensong at Washington Cathedral. We popped into the cathedral Tuesday afternoon and it just took her breath away. She wants to go back, so I figured what better way to see a Cathedral than to actually attend a service. She's had to draw several cathedrals for French class and her chorus teacher keeps asking them to imagine singing in a cathedral when they sing a particular song. It's an instance of perfect timing--Lou appreciated the building, but H soaked it all in.

It's been chilly, but warmer than Vermont. Of course, there's a wintry mix coming in tonight. I swear, I'm haunted by these storms this year.

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Shoveling and Traveling

We spent part of President's Day clearing the 30" of snow off our roof. Odin jumped out the bathroom window to help. He was ushered back inside quite quickly. It was a very foggy day with a lot of snow evaporating.







And we spent part of President's Day getting ready for a trip..... stay tuned to find out where we land....


I showed Lou the wonderful birthday comments and she was beyond thrilled. I'm not sure she realized that people actually read this blog! Thanks to all of you who commented. It's fun to find out who is reading the blog and it was very fun for Lou.

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Happy Birthday Lou!

It should come as no surprise that we had a sledding party for Lou's birthday. She had four friends and their families for sledding, a pinata, and lasagna (her favorite food). Adults and kids sledded after which the kids descended to the basement for a pinata while the adults settled into a glass of wine in front of the fire.





We brought in branches and decorated them with lots of beautiful snowflakes--it was very fun making these and we just couldn't stop. N turned out to be the most talented at turning out great snowflakes.





















Lou says that being 9 is magical--it's a magic number as there are so many magical ways to combine numbers into nine. She's really looking forward to this year, and so are we!

Happy Birthday Dear Lou! Happy Birthday To You!

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Happy Valentine's Day

We've had quite a beginning to our day with way too much ice to deal with. Despite the glowing photos of fire and ice, I'm sort of wishing I could be on a warm beach collecting more heart-shaped stones.


Last year, N made these heart-shaped candle holders for Valentine's Day. As I went to put some red candles in them and decorate the table, I paused. I have been reading Green Housekeeping and have been re-thinking a number of things about the way I clean and keep our home. In the chapter on "Indoor Pollution Control," the author talks about how most commercial candles contain large amounts of synthetic chemicals that are released into the air as the candle burns and how some wicks contain lead. Every day for the past week, N and I have watched the large amounts of smoke coming out of our nightly candles after they have been snuffed with increasing trepidation.

I decided not to put these red candles on the table today. We'll be turning to beeswax and using up all our Ikea candles out in their little snow caves or on the porch this summer until they are gone. I think we'll all breathe a little easier.

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Shadows and Light

Back to our regularly scheduled blogging of crafts, Waldorf, and snow. We've been home all day enjoying another wintry mix--the girls tenth snow day this winter. I have avoided today's wintry mix, but they have been having a blast with FIRE and ICE at the snow cave. They have made candle caves in addition to their snow caves. Lest you worry, I assure you the candles are all safely ensconced in mason jars (although I was a little nervous when I discovered Lou in the snow cave with a flaming piece of kindling). That got put out.


H spent part of the day drawing still lifes with shadows. She has just completed a physics block at school where they conducted experiments in optics, acoustics, electricity, and heat. She has loved her most recent science blocks--the botany, geology, and physics have opened her up a bit more to the world and I see her noticing and experimenting more and more.

So now they are out now having tea in the cave, N is plowing in rain gear, and I am quietly blogging under a nice wool blanket. Keep warm!

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Embracing Life

Lou's third hospitalization brought despair, crises of faith, and decisions to be made. The doctors were at a loss. She grew sick from a hospital virus. She had no more easy veins with which to get IVs. She stopped eating. She was too weak to have another major surgery. And, if there was to be another surgery it would be to remove her lung. What to do?

Just before she had gotten sick, we had taken down her crib in preparation for a "big bed." She had no bed in our home. She had been gone for so long at home that it almost felt natural. And with those feelings, I felt as though I was losing faith and that it would somehow impact her. Thank goodness for our minister who helped me through these feelings and for our friends who swooped down and set up a bed.

H began to seriously feel the impact of all this as well. For her, even with lots of attention and gifts, it was clear to her that she was on the sidelines. We added some therapy for her to our routine and we to this day talk and reassure her that she is loved and special too.

The end did come and it was good. After testing and questioning, we decided to allow the doctors to inject glucose into her chest tube which would create such scarring that her lung would be sealed to her pleural cavity for good. It was one of those forever decisions with no going back. We did it. It worked. And after a few days of recovery, we finally went home.





It was Easter.







N and I have cherished and relished life and our family just a bit more fiercely ever since. But it is Lou who shines. She is our dancer. Our optimist. The member of our family who most embraces life at every turn and we embrace it with her.

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Love, Kindess, and Grace

All in all it was 60 days of hospital life. We actually found a rhythm to our life. N spent nights at the hospital. I would take H to school and then relieve N so he could go to work. Friends delivered H to the hospital after kindergarten or at the end of the day. We'd have dinner together and then I'd take H home to bed.

We filled the windowsills of Lou's room with potted bulbs. We covered her crib in a rainbow silk. Slowly the room filled with knitting, magazines, and books. It was a time of great fear, but we made it our loving nest.


March brought storm after storm. Once I arrived home in the evening to find no power and a foot of snow. Our neighbors had been watching and met us at the door. They had shoveled and raked the roof. They brought flashlights and tucked us into bed leaving a thermos of coffee.

Every neighbor on our street provided us with a meal. Every parent in H's class brought us a meal. A friend who worked at the hospital stopped in EVERY morning with coffee and a smile. At one point Lou stopped eating. He then arrived EVERY morning with a thermos of organic oatmeal loaded with cream and maple syrup. She ate.

My internet friends coordinated mailings of who knows how many hundreds of little gifts for both girls. We probably ended up with around 45 stuffed animals!

The organization I directed gave me paid leave. The Board took up a collection for us. The museum community of Vermont sent emails and flowers. Our little girl had touched many of these folks as she had been bundled about to lots of museums while I worked.

N's sister drove 3 hours each way twice on several weekends to take H home with her. N's parents flew up. My mother sat through both long surgeries with us and braved several snowstorms to help. My father called every single day. When Lou was admitted for the third time, we flew up N's mother from Florida again. N and I just needed more mothering.


It's funny, but I had never had to really accept help before. I had never had to just say "thank you" and know that I could never reciprocate. We had never been on the receiving end of some much love, kindness, and grace. It sustained us through the long days and nights in our little room.

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Surgery and More Surgeries

Lou's surgery was a success. My parents and a friend sat with us all day as we waited for news. The cyst was removed and she was placed in intensive care. She had an epidural, chest tube, catheter, heart moniter, oxygen, O2 sensor, and IV. She was one petrified little girl, but calmly told us exactly where on her dolly it hurt.

As we sat in ICU with all the wires and alarms, balloon after balloon arrived--65 balloons in all from the internet group of women I belonged to. It was as if each balloon floated by with a prayer inside from women all over the world. The hospital florist was amazed.

After surgery she was hooked up to suction on the wall via a chest tube to keep her lung inflated. We were assured that we'd be home in just a few days with things as good as new...

...4 days later we finally left ICU only to be moved upstairs as we continued to wait for her lung to remain inflated. Every time she was removed from suction, her lung would collapse. Finally, after 2 weeks, her lung remained inflated and we went home.

We spent the next couple of days being quiet. As we snuggled, it became clear that she was breathing too quickly again. We dropped H off with friends and went to the emergency room where we found that her lung had collapsed and her heart had shifted again. She had emergency surgery with another chest tube inserted and we were back to our friends in the Ped ward. After another week of waiting to see if her lung would heal, it was decided that she had to have another major surgery.


Again, my Mother and our dear friends sat with us all day through a longer, and actually more dangerous surgery as they tried and tried to fix the air leaks. They sutured--air leak. They applied bioglue--air leak. They stapled. They closed--air leak. They re-opened AGAIN. Consulting surgeons arrived. They bioglued again. And finally closed. We were frantic as hours and hours passed with no word. We went through the same drill with suction and tubes before going home after 3 days.

Through it all, Lou kept a good spirit and her good two-year old spunk. Being attached to the wall for days on end required lots of entertainment!


It had all begun February 7th and we left the hospital March 26th. And then...on March 28th we were back in the ER having another emergency surgery to insert another chest tube.

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And then she was ill--updated

It was February when she became ill. She had a fever, and instinct said to not wait but to take her in. The whirl of activity--the doctor listening to her chest for too long...the nurse hooking her up to an O2 sat sensor...the doctor sending us off for xrays...the radiologist and pulmonologist checking her in the hallway...me protesting I was sure she hadn't swallowed something...a terrified call to N....driving back to our doctor...


...where we found out her heart was on the right side of her chest and something very large was where her left lung ought to have been. That terrible weekend of waiting to see if antibiotics would take down the fever and clear out infection...Monday, watching our doctor pick up the telephone calling for a surgical consult.


...and then finding ourselves in the nightmare of watching our child being rushed from the CT room to the OR, on a stretcher, while being bagged....and receiving the news that Lou had a congenital cystic adematoid malformation (a CCAM cyst) and that she would die without an operation...and could die while in the operation.

Updated to add--Lou is OK now. She pulled through it all (but it's a long story). I just want to make sure readers know that this is not happening now. I am telling her story for the first time which is turning out to be a very healing thing to do.

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Sunday Snow Scenes

We have such a crazy amount of snow. We spent the morning playing in it and the afternoon hiding from fierce wind and another FOOT. Snow is expected every day this week. N dug out a snow cave.


Extreme sledding calls for goggles and helmet....


This is my sled run....and my view after I flipped.













I gave up on the sledding, went for a snowshoe, and then retreated indoors to make cauliflower cheddar soup, garlic bread, and cookies for the hungry masses. It is dark now. The snow has stopped and N is out plowing for the third time today. Happy Sunday!

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The Early Years

After 9 days of mini contractions, I went to see my midwife on February 18th. It turned out she was to leave for vacation the next day and I was determined to have my baby before she left. That afternoon N and I took H to a friend's house then went home where I drank castor oil mixed with orange juice. Within 45 minutes, real labor had begun. We went straight to the hospital as H's birth had been fairly quick for a first baby.


Lou's birth was very fast--after 1 1/2 hours I was ready to deliver and 4 minutes later she was born. She was placed on my chest and we all stared at this sweet girl with bright red hair! It was a beautiful birth. Because it was happening so fast, my midwife curled up in a chair and waited with us. The lights were dim and it was peaceful.

At some point in the night, I woke to find her on oxygen in a crib by my side. And, in reading back through her medical records, I see she was on oxygen for hours. No worries, they said. She just needed to pink up.

There were hints throughout Lou's infancy that something might be wrong. Of course, they only became hints in hindsight.



She was on oxygen at birth. She didn't cry much at all. She nursed frequently, but seemed to tire easily. The sling seemed to be painful and she preferred to not be curled up in it. She slept with us, but didn't seem to manage well if a cover ended up over her head.



At about 10 months she gave up nursing. At 12 months her weight and height percentiles, never high to begin with, began to slip until she was only at the 2nd percentile (her sister was at the 99th). We had been worrying, but now our doctor began to worry too.

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