Old-Fashioned Play

I recently read about an NPR story at unplugyourkids. It talked about how a preschool program called "Tools of the Mind" is training kids to regulate behaviors and emotions through play. Their premise is that old-fashioned play is important in building social and behavioral skills. However, the program calls for kids to script their play before actually playing. The comment section illustrates how parents are unsure of how to teach their children to play and worried about how to keep it "educational." Even a kindergarten teacher wanted to know how long play should be allowed--the advice was "30-40 minutes a day."

I find it sad that more and more kids need to be taught how to play. I began to think back to when Lou and Hels were young and what their play was like. There would be some days when silks, blocks, and toys would be strewn from one end of the house to the other. Chairs would be rearranged and walking would be hazardous. We used to joke that the bigger the mess, the better the play.

The very best play days came about when I was also busy about the house. I found that if I was up and about the house tidying, doing laundry, cooking or whatever, the kids would settle into deep, imaginative worlds. Whenever I'd sit down at the computer or with a book, they'd be all over me (still true). I think that my work about the house provided them with a bit of security. My energy provided a bit of form or ego presence within which they could then feel free to just go.

In retrospect, it's a little similar to the energy in a Waldorf kindergarten. The teacher stays busy at classroom chores while the kids play, and play, and play. When there's an issue, the child involved gets drawn into the teacher's work and then is let loose back into the play again. There's an active adult busy with her own work, yet providing formed energy and presence in the classroom.

Hels and especially Lou still occasionally engage in deep creative play. Of course it has evolved since they were young. For Lou, the play is all about setting up the scenario. She doesn't play out the scenario much anymore. Hels, at almost 12, will also occasionally go to some other world of fairies or knights or who knows what. It makes me very happy when I see my young adolescent play--she's still learning a lot through it.

I think it's easy to buy or make the types of toys we all know that spark creativity and engagement. It's harder to figure out what we as adults need to do to create the space from which creativity can emerge. Sometimes, it's just doing our own work about the house, so the kids can get on with their work of play. We need to create the space, but we don't need to script it.


My hope for our girls is that, as they grow older, they'll carry the sparks of creativity and the social lessons they've learned from play into all aspects of their lives.